Trial Magazine

Every lawyer has challenging clients—but while it can be stressful to deal with upset clients, they often provide us with opportunities to become better attorneys. We are in a unique role to help people, but this requires honesty and patience.

Connect with your client. If an angry client calls, the first thing I do is take a deep breath. Then, I listen and acknowledge my client’s feelings, sometimes using humor to diffuse a situation. I search for something—weather, geography—that may connect us. And I often share something about my life that humanizes me, such as an anecdote about my son or family. Recognizing the similarities between you and your client—rather than the differences—is crucial.

Invoke empathy. The most important question to ask your clients is: “How are you doing?” Empathy, not sympathy, is the key to zealous advocacy and is pivotal for relationship development. I once had a very ill client ask me, “How would you feel, if this was happening to you?” I said, “Honestly, I’d feel really bad.” Since that time, I have realized that empathy demands far more introspection than sympathy. Empathy requires understanding, not pity.

Present the whole picture. Telling clients the hard, honest truth about their case or settlement may be difficult. Yet, the more you have cultivated a solid relationship, the more likely your client is to trust you. When breaking difficult news, I acknowledge my clients’ feelings and validate their frustration. When clients get upset about liens or the time frame for resolution, I have found that a simple “I get it—I understand your frustration” seems to go a long way. What is frustrating for our clients is also frustrating for us, making it easier to understand and validate their feelings.

Whether we see our clients weekly or have few opportunities to meet them face-to-face, that shouldn’t stop us from establishing meaningful connections that allow us to see each other beyond our roles as client and lawyer. When our clients see us not just as lawyers but also as compassionate people helping them vindicate a wrong, it builds trust.

Tara K. King is an associate at SWMW Law in St. Louis. She can be reached at tara@swmwlaw.com.